Shear Genius Recap: Fallen Angels

My oh my! Shear Genius was a disaster all the way around this week. It was a week when we learned that "America loves a shapely woman" (according to Charlie) and then heard a confusing analogy about a midget wearing flats from Kim Vo. I've done some thinking about it and Kim Vo reminds me of Michael York in Logan's Run (this revelation is especially appropriate since Farrah Faucet and her hair were featured in both Logan's Run and this week's Shear Genius challenge).

But I digress. On to the recap!

SHORT CUT CHALLENGE
It was the rainbow of fruit flavors short cut challenge. The stylists had to add bold, vibrant colors to their clients' hair. People ended up with super red hair, streaks of yellow, and all sorts of craziness. This challenge reminded me of my high school/college days. I have always been very blonde, and for a time there I was dying my goldilocks all sorts of wacky colors. Manic Panic was my best friend. I once put a shock of pink through the front of my hair, hoping it would wash out after a week. Six months later, I still had that ultra-pink streak. It was annoying.

The stylists had a generous four hours to do their cut and color. The winner would have immunity in the coming elimination challenge and would play a "special role" in that challenge. There was some minor drama and plenty of cattiness. Nekisa found new ways to blame the world for her failures, and Paulo committed the cardinal sin of ignoring the sage advice of Master Vo.

Charlie won with this equestrian-inspired look:Though Nekisa came in almost last, Paulo took the loser seat with this non-blue do:ELIMINATION CHALLENGE
After a hyped up bitch session between Charlie and Nekisa back at home, the stylists returned to the salon for the Charlie's Angels Challenge. As the short cut winner, Charlie would not be competing in this round. Instead he paired up the remaining six stylists who had to give three women updated looks inspired by the three original Charlie's Angels characters. He also wandered around, supposedly offering assistants to all three teams.

Here's the problem with this challenge: no one remembers Charlie's Angels that well. It ran from 1976 to 1981. I am 32 years old and have a vague memory of the show. I did, however, have a favorite angel: Chris, played by Cheryl Ladd. So...it's my theory that the stylists are too young to really remember the show, and if they were old enough to remember Charlie's Angels, they were probably so coked-out that that entire time period is just a giant blur of big hair and polyester. Need proof of my claim? Just watch Kate Jackson's hand at judging this week. When asked what she thought of the styles, she said she had no thoughts in her head. Yikes.

For whatever reason, the elimination challenge was a disaster. Everyone's look sucked. Everyone went in the same, tired direction. The judges complained about wanting a more modern, updated look, saying that they see Jacquelyn Smith's hair every day...and her hair is what they were going for. Um....ok. What kind of challenge was this exactly?

After a severe tongue lashing from the judges, the contestants were told that they all sucked so badly that no one would be the night's winner. The bottom two came down to Glenn and (surprise, surprise) Nekisa. Nekisa was, inexplicably, spared from elimination yet again. The look of shock and disgust on the other contestants' faces was priceless. They all seemed disgusted and dismayed that Glenn was packing her scissors and going home. I think Charlie's earlier statement needs revision: the Shear Genius judges love a shapely woman. Any American watching the show probably rolled their eyes and cursed their TVs in disbelief.

Anyway....it was a weird night in Shear Genius land. And I've decided: I do like Paulo (or is it Paolo? I see it spelled differently all over the place!). However, now that I said that, I fully expect Paulo to be sent home next week. Just watch: Nekisa will end up winning this whole damn thing. Ugh.

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