Back From My Trip To Macy's - Allow Me To Vent

So I'm at Macy's, trying to get some separates for work and for Fashion Week, which is creeping up on my at an alarming speed. Anyway, I've got an armful of stylish possibilities and I'm in a good mood because there's an awesome sale going down - and just as I walk into the fitting room, I hear a shriek behind me. "Ma'am...ma'am. Excuse me, ma'am...wait! How many items do you have there?!?!?"

I turn around to face the bane of my existence - the fitting room police. I told her I had seven pieces. Then she told me that Macy's only allows six garments in the room, at a time. She further explained that I had to leave one garment on the rack outside of the changing rooms and that I must hang up everything after I was finished and place them on the aforementioned rack before exiting the fitting room.

Now, I realize that this is store protocol - but way to put me through the ringer, lady, when I only had one extra garment. And while I'm on the topic, I'm gonna tell you how I really feel...

I HATE THE FITTING ROOMS AT MACYS!!!

I'm sure that there are some very nice people who monitor the dressing rooms at Macy's - but, unfortunately for me, the dressing room patrol at my local Macy's stores are the evilest people ever. Everytime I've got an armful of clothes, they're hawk-eyeing me...just waiting for me to make a break for the fitting room, so that they can unload their attitude on me.

And even when I only have a few pieces in my hands, once I get near the dressing room, I'm stopped and given a hard time. It's gotten so bad and I've become so annoyed that I usually wait until the coast is clear and all salespeople are out of sight before making a beeline for the fitting room (while the Mission Impossible song runs through my head). But 75% of the time, I'm apprehended...and harrassed about hanging up my clothes when I'm done.

Instead of biting my tongue and smiling/nodding in agreement, one of these days I'm going to respond with something like this: "Mama Spoiled Pretty raised me right. I hang up my clothes and place them on the rack, without being asked. Not because you're pestering me about it, but because I have manners. So remember my face and stop going all bridge troll on me everytime I'm in here. Thank you."

I mean, dang. I only shop at two Macy's. And the petites department is the size of a shoe box. You'd think they'd know me by now.

Is it so wrong to want to be left alone? I've got money to spend in your store and all I'm asking is to be allowed to enjoy the shopping experience without having some saleslady go all apesh*t on me.

So for all of you heffas who are trashing the fitting rooms like you're some sorta rock star - and ruining the fun for the rest of us...well, quit it. Learn some manners, or I'm going to send Mama Spoiled Pretty after you.

The only thing I don't hate about the Macy's dressing room is the price checker thingy by the fitting room door. I actually love that. I love learning how much money I'm gonna save, without having to do math. Yay, price checker things!